Ok well Steven hasn't posted much lately so I thought that I'd post something just to keep the flow going sorta. Just to explain to you guys a little bit of where we are in our walk together.
As humans we have this horrible natural tendency; the tendency to hurt people. We all have it because we all are madly selfish, even the most selfless of us. So guys, love hurts. Every kind of love. Know this. Own this. If you don't you can't understand love. I know we all love the fairy tale stories and princess and prince situations, but in reality all of that isn't real. Here is how it works: we toss back and fourth between infatuation, passion, selflessness, fear, attachment and insecurities all in the attempt to find foundation and peace. That's us, that's humans. So add a human plus another human and try to put them together to become one and you get that times two...scary! That's another reason why I'm so scared of a relationship with out Christ as the center, because honestly if He isn't, that information right there is alone enough to scare me away from any earthly relationship. I can't handle myself well enough to handle someone else too. I can't worry about their condition while still monitoring mine. I don't mean I can't care for someone, but I can't be with someone that relies on me and I can't rely on someone either. I can't. It doesn't work.
Right now Steven and I are really adjusting to each other and moving into a different place, and I think its going to be awesome. But the process has been hard just working to collide like we want to and keeping it 100% about God along the way. But I know for sure I wont be able to fall in love with him unless I'm falling in love with the Christ that lives inside of him. I think he knows that too. I just don't trust anything else. I can't and I wont.
As humans we have this horrible natural tendency; the tendency to hurt people. We all have it because we all are madly selfish, even the most selfless of us. So guys, love hurts. Every kind of love. Know this. Own this. If you don't you can't understand love. I know we all love the fairy tale stories and princess and prince situations, but in reality all of that isn't real. Here is how it works: we toss back and fourth between infatuation, passion, selflessness, fear, attachment and insecurities all in the attempt to find foundation and peace. That's us, that's humans. So add a human plus another human and try to put them together to become one and you get that times two...scary! That's another reason why I'm so scared of a relationship with out Christ as the center, because honestly if He isn't, that information right there is alone enough to scare me away from any earthly relationship. I can't handle myself well enough to handle someone else too. I can't worry about their condition while still monitoring mine. I don't mean I can't care for someone, but I can't be with someone that relies on me and I can't rely on someone either. I can't. It doesn't work.
Right now Steven and I are really adjusting to each other and moving into a different place, and I think its going to be awesome. But the process has been hard just working to collide like we want to and keeping it 100% about God along the way. But I know for sure I wont be able to fall in love with him unless I'm falling in love with the Christ that lives inside of him. I think he knows that too. I just don't trust anything else. I can't and I wont.
<3 -Katie Mac
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