Coldplay - Yellow

Awake(kate)

Today I woke up.
I didn't realize I was asleep. Love awakened me.
Today I danced.
But I didn't even move, my soul has just jumped. Love has awakened me.
Today purpose wasn't just a word.
Love has awakened.

Today, my heart felt alive.
Suddenly I felt as of I was in love for the first time.                                                                                            

The Fray - Look After You

Steven, I wrote this for you in December. I knew you were struggling, and it was God speaking through me to your heart, I just never knew how to give it to you.

Take me to the hurts,

That other people just make worse.

I know where you have been,

I know your heart's aches,

I'm waiting for you.

I want to fill that space,

DO YOU HEAR ME?

I scream out your name.

I want your heart,

To be a part of my plan.

I know you love me

& I love you too,

So listen to me child,

As I tell you what to do.

Close your eyes,

And believe I am real,

Call out my name,

then tell me what you feel.

Did you feel my presence touch your heart?

Your eyes will be opened the more you hold on

My dear child, you've been strong for to long.

My hand is like love

My face is your defense
My power over you, ever so immense.

I'm calling you child, I want you here

I want to hold you high

To burn your fears.

Oh my Dear creation

Your heart is like gold,

Even though its been broken.

I know this hurtful reality,

Is all you can feel.

But your blessings are waiting.

Just open up your eyes.

They may see the surface, but I see the inside.

I've always cared about you. -Kate

Kate

You are so much more then I deserve.
You're love is so pure and divine.
You're body moves like flowers in the wind.
You're mind creates for the Lord.

Your flaws are my rewards.

The way you move woos me.

Don't try to distinguish from what's real and what's fake.

Stop hiding behind your sleeves.

I'll love you anyways.

Love, 

 Me

girls think about this

You know you have the ultimate man relationship in your life.. and you know he's so jealous of you that he wants to make sure whoever you give your heart to will be so lost in Him that its like your still in a relationship with Him.. and that youre heart is so pure and ready that you wont get hurt again

he loves you and your beauty and wont let just anyone have it

he's waiting till that one guy falls in love with you for the christ that dwells in you

and once that happens your worlds will shake and god will dwell in between and leading you both into a deep intimate soothing amazing love. 

love,

steven

From Kate

I got Steven a statue elephant for his birthday...is that weird?

I think Mac likes paramore... hahaha

i miss my girl.

Kate

To you:  ³I thank my God every time I remember you. ⁴In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy ⁵because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, ⁶being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
 ⁷It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. ⁸God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
 ⁹And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, ¹¹filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
              
                     - Phil 1:3-11

From: Me

Love Hurts(kate)

Ok well Steven hasn't posted much lately so I thought that I'd post something just to keep the flow going sorta. Just to explain to you guys a little bit of where we are in our walk together.
As humans we have this horrible natural tendency; the tendency to hurt people. We all have it because we all are madly selfish, even the most selfless of us. So guys, love hurts. Every kind of love. Know this. Own this. If you don't you can't understand love. I know we all love the fairy tale stories and princess and prince situations, but in reality all of that isn't real. Here is how it works: we toss back and fourth between infatuation, passion, selflessness, fear, attachment and insecurities all in the attempt to find foundation and peace. That's us, that's humans. So add a human plus another human and try to put them together to become one and you get that times two...scary! That's another reason why I'm so scared of a relationship with out Christ as the center, because honestly if He isn't, that information right there is alone enough to scare me away from any earthly relationship. I can't handle myself well enough to handle someone else too. I can't worry about their condition while still monitoring mine. I don't mean I can't care for someone, but I can't be with someone that relies on me and I can't rely on someone either.  I can't. It doesn't work.
Right now Steven and I are really adjusting to each other and moving into a different place, and I think its going to be awesome. But the process has been hard just working to collide like we want to and keeping it 100% about God along the way. But I know for sure I wont be able to fall in love with him unless I'm falling in love with the Christ that lives inside of him. I think he knows that too. I just don't trust anything else. I can't and I wont.

<3  -Katie Mac

the truth about love is that it hurts.

falling in love backwards(kate)

right now we are getting ready to go through on one of the biggest and scariest parts.

here's what we have established.

1. We like each other
2. We know this is something worth pursuing

3. We care for each other past just being friends

4. Our hearts are connected

But, it isn't exactly what you think it is....
because we did it backwards.

Most people start out with the bubbly feelings and end with the insecurities.

For us though, we just let each other go hog wild. We know so much about each others insecurities because we would just spill or guts to each other daily. It was pretty cool though because now (outside of God) we care about each other so much and know each other so well, we are each others earthly security. This is good because this is a stage that some married couples don't ever reach. It makes me pretty excited because I don't feel like I have to worry to much. I feel secure.

Now we are going through the hard part,

but it's also the fun part & the messy part.

It's the the I want to fall in love with you part.

The part where foundation is crucial,

Where clinging to Christ is our only option.

The weird thing about me and Steven is we are not regularly attracted to each other.

I think he is cute of course and he thinks I look good hahahahaah

But he isn't my type, and I'm not his type.

Not at first glance anyway, I never thought I'd like him.

In fact, you can ask my sister...I swore I never would.

But there is something that brought us together that literally worked like a magnet to where it was no problem for us to share our hearts with each other.

I never felt like that before, with anyone. like ever.

As well as we know each other, I don't know him at all.

I know about everything he experienced that was hurtful as a child, and I know exactly when he needs a hug or needs encouragement. But I don't know a single thing (nor have I put much thought into it) about his earthly self, like what he thinks of certain things, or about his personality. I know that's sooooooo weird, but the reason it's like that is because we're falling in love completely backwards.

the condition of my heart(kate)

I havent always had a whole heart.
It started off that way.
But it didn't stay that way.
It took me a long time to sew it up.


Growing up I was your typical naive christian girl. 16 years old, I had never been kissed and saving myself for marriage...I had never been in love and never thought of falling in love with anybody except the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. But sometimes fate tries to play God, and chance forces you to believe you have your everything when God knew all along it wasn't right yet, and that it wasn't right for you.



Names aren't important. What's important are the morals of the story. My clean heart, fell fast. I was wise beyond my years in so many ways and poured it all in to a boy who wasn't ready to handle it. I was to young. Did I know what I was doing? Yes. Could it of worked? Yes. WOULD it of worked in the long run? Nope.
Would it of been good for me in the long run? Nope.
Do I regret it? Nope.
If I could go back in time I would of told myself to run though...and run fast. I didn't know that it was gonna hit me that hard. I didn't know how it felt to fall like that. To be totally consumed by a person so much as they are on your heart and mind always.  I blame my pain on my good heart and my innocence.

The guy never did me wrong. He never treated me badly, but he broke my heart. How though?
That just makes no sense? Well don't worry I struggled with that for a long time. I hadn't done anything wrong in the relationship, he hadn't either. I'm pretty sure we both had equal feelings for each other.

So?

Why aren't we together?

I got the answer.

Here's the nitty gritty guys.
IF YOU ARE NOT 100 PERCENT DEVOTED AND YOUR PARTNER ISN'T EITHER AND YOU GUYS DON'T LITERALLY GIVE YOUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP UP TO GOD, ITS NOT GONNA WORK OUT.

This world tears good stuff like love apart and without God true love doesn't stand.
Because God is true love.














Ok, sorry about the caps, but some girls (and guys) out there really needed to hear that.
Some of yall will say well I am a good girl, I am a christian I am not going to let him pressure me into anything, and he respects me...what could go wrong?
Or this one is my favorite.....well he is a GOOOOOOOD christian, but we don't ever really focus on God yet..
uhhh WHAT THE HECK?!!?!? hahaha sorry but really girls? Do you hear yourselves????????????
I mean come on!!!!!?!

Don't get me wrong, people get married,  live good lives, and happy marriages can last with out God(to a CERTAIN extent).

But, not fully and completely, the way we were made to enjoy them. There are normally secrets swept under the rug or certain degrees of selfishness involved, or simply loopholes in the bonding of the two people (they can only trust each other to a certain extent or don't give their whole hearts).
We always fall short, because we are only human. So in order to keep up we need a third party to help us out and keep us on track.

That where my man (Jesus) steps in.












Girls (and guys alike, Steven may want to add some to this post I'm not sure) when did you not become enough? Just you and your God? I know so many christian girls who do not walk with God, like they just don't trust him, with his love! They don't let him in to love them, because they don't feel like He cares...and then they turn to guys. Trust me I know that it's hard. But its also hard to mourn your first love. If you're reading this, God literally has someone hand picked out for you. It might not be the person you are with, it might be someone you haven't met yet. In fact it doesn't matter who it is at all, it matters where you are in your walk with God. Because even the right person at the wrong time is the wrong person(<3 you Caitlyn).


I'm an example of not waiting for God. And trying to do it all myself and turning my back away from God in order to pursue a different love of my life, before Him. And I have regretted it for an extremely long time. You guys, listen to what I have to say, and take it into consideration.






Love, Kate

Steven

there are some times

that it seems a little to good to be true

those times are right now

Kate

I want to be with you so bad

I want to care for you so bad

I want to be a man for you so bad

I want to love you so bad

I want to comfort you so bad

I want to cry with you

I want to laugh with you

I want to hold you so bad

I want to hold a picture of your smile with me because it's so beautiful

I want to have your scent with me because its so pure

I want to tell you everything is ok when you feel like its not

I want to kiss your forehead and bring you close to my chest for a tight embrace

I want to pick flowers for you to remind you how much I constantly think about you

I want to take you to a place that we can call ours where we can escape and no one can bother us

I want to capture every moment we share.

I can only possess the emotions because God allows me to pursue them.

Yours,
Steven

It's been a while(steven)

Ok, so as we all know I was away on the Men's Retreat that Kate told you all about. I've been back Sunday afternoon however, every time I tried to post an updated post something would get in the way and be a huge distraction. So now I woke up an hour earlier then I normally do and I have zero distractions. The Men's Retreat in a short story was incredible, God really met me there and exposed to me who I truly was and what the relationship I have with Kate truly was. Man, it was so sick to see so many grown men break down there walls and create a more intimate relationship with their Abba-Daddy. Right now Kate and I are in a really good phase of our courtship. Trust is being coated over our hearts and we are able to be more vulnerable around each other and can soak in each others presence because even then we ( or at least I do ) feel the presence of God. She's so incredible, the only thing I have to find out is if she can cook -- she says she can but I'll let my taste buds be the judge of that.. For real though she probably can.. She's probably reading this right now, and thinking "Jerk." hahahahah but anyways, this is definitely a crazy season God is moving us through I think I can speak for the both of us when I say that. And because I can see the presence of God through her it only makes me want to spend more time with her. God is so good. Like, she's so cool and outgoing but calm and collected and wise and beautiful and spontaneous and adventurous and intelligent how can one human being possess so many authentic and incredible qualities at the same time.. and still be interested in me!?! THANK YOU GOD.

Alright guys, I'm out of here to go wake up my brother and best friend..

Love,
Steven.

p.s I'll add a picture because Kate loves them. :]

there now, steady love
so few come and don't go
will you, wont you, be the one i always know?

when im losing my control

and the city spins around

youre the only one who knows,

you slow me down

Fergie - Clumsy(kate)